Travel Taught me these nine life changing lessons……
(1) Stop trying to please everyone.
It is simple when you really think about it, but it is so difficult to do. It is human nature for people, please. We do this because we have this deep unhealthy need to be loved by others. I was guilty of this myself, I was a people pleaser, and all I wanted was for them to love me. After being on this journey of self-discovery, I realised I needed love from outside because I did not like me. I did not love who I was because I had failed to see myself through my eyes, I only saw myself from other peoples eyes e.g., my teachers, the society, the media, etc
(2) Stop explaining yourself to everyone.
The critical lesson to learn. People only understand from their level of perception. You might both be saying the same thing, but each person perceives it from there own understanding. The more you explain yourself, the more you are lowering yourself to the other person’s perception. I started saving so much time and energy when I learned this, now all I do is agree to disagree or be silent in a conversation where we are not at the same level of consciousness.
(3) Stop fearing change.
We all fear the unknown because we humans are creatures of comfort, and we feel less threatened when we are in our comfort zone. Here is a twist to this theory, we humans have conditioned ourselves to believe this, we created this comfort zone, none threatening environment in our mind. I have said this many times, you have heard this many times, what we create in our mind becomes our reality. Once we shift our reality from mind to heart, body and soul guess what you get…… you get to tap into the ultimate state of being. This is why I love solo traveling and being lost in the unknown. It is connecting my heart, body and soul…. I get to control my mind, Not my mind controlling me.
(4) Stop living in the past.
It is so easy to live in the past. This is where you are not to be blamed for anything, and everything is someone else’s fault. You play the victim, and you get all the attention you want. I wasted 30 years of my life doing this. I wish I knew all this 30 years ago, but better late then never right. The reason we live in the past is we are not ready to take responsibilities of our actions. We are more than happy to be depressed, to suffer, to struggle, to complain about how it’s the parent’s fault, how it’s the teacher’s fault, how it is the ex-partners fault etc. etc…. on my journey to self discovery, I learned how to take total responsibilities of my life. The buck stops with me. I invested in myself, shifted all my limiting beliefs and negative emotions to lessons and blessings — best thing I ever did from myself.
(5) Stop living in your head (Mind).
We live in the day and age, where human intelligence has created so much life’s comfort. Think about this, and everything is at your fingertips, click a few buttons online, the food is delivered to your dining room. Luxury that only rich and famous had in the days of kings and queens era now average working families have this luxury. So here is a tricky question when we all have this luxury to live like kings and queens did hundreds of years ago why are we all struggling with anxiety, depression, why our mental health and physical health is suffering? Answer to this question is we are living in our heads, we are wasting so much time on social media, and online. We are creating our reality influenced by what we see, read, and hear. We are missing the real connection, which is found in your heart, body, and soul. Not just in your Mind.
(6) Stop trying to fit in.
We all want to belong, and this is an essential part of human evolution. Look at the animal kingdom, they all live and move in herds and look out for each other. The problem with humans is that our intelligence has become our own enemy. We have found these things, competition, jealousy — selfishness, entitlement, superiority etc. etc. I spent a lot of my life trying to fit in, which resulted in I becoming someone I wasn’t and someone I was not proud of. I chose to fit in even when I knew people in the group were backstabbing me, sabotaging my future, using me only because I was scared to stand alone. I was sacred. I was not good enough, and no one will ever love me. After my intense work on my self-belief systems, I realised I was giving the power of my happiness and wellbeing in other people’s hands. I needed to take that power back.
(7) Stop being in the company of toxic people.
I call these people wolves disguised in human clothing. These are the true Narcissist, even worse are people with a narcissist personality disorder. I talk about this because we all have them in our lives. It might be your partner, parent, sibling, employer, friend, child, etc etc. These toxic people drain your energy and start killing our whole being if you do not learn how to deal with them. For a long time, I did not even know these people in my life who are so charming are actually wolves in disguise, so I ask you to have a good look at your circle and each person in your circle. Then ask yourself how do each one of these people makes you feel. How do they treat you, really look and see…. don’t tell yourself stories to justify their actions?
(8) Stop waiting for the perfect time.
Because the perfect time is right now, this is it. Right, this minute. I use to say to myself, I will start my blog after I get a perfect website, I will start my youtube channel after I lose weight, I will start traveling after my children grow up, I will publish my book after I get enough money….. guess what I wasted 30 years on waiting. I am telling you, there is such a thrill in just getting things started. Just taking action, and learning as you go, trusting the process that everything will work out exactly how it is meant to. This part of my self-discovery journey was the most exciting because I now love the authentic me, and I have found my purpose to serve people to find the power of their authentic self and help them unleash this power.
(9) Stop sacrificing your happiness for others.
We mothers are more guilty of this than anyone else, but it doesn’t matter if you are a mother or not. Whenever I travel, I have to sit through this emergency procedure. You know why they tell you to put your mask on first before you help your child and others. You can not help anyone if you are dead. A lot of people have this perception that self-love or self-care is selfish. It is selfish if it comes from a place of ego, entitlement, and power. It is not selfish if it comes from a place to love, grace, and gratitude.
#Travelquote: “Investment in travel is an investment in yourself.” ~ Matthew Karsten
Grab a copy of my book, “Finding, Me, Myself and I” – journey to loving your authentic self. In this book I talk about how solo travel helped me with my self discovery and how it empowered me to be my authentic self.
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