Traveling Alone … is it lonely and is it scary??
The simple answer to this question is YES and YES…….. The reason I wanted to start blogging about solo traveling was to inspire people. I want to teach people how to travel alone and how to like it. In fact, to love it.
In general, to be alone is hard, it’s probably the hardest thing but it is NOT necessarily a bad thing. We relate being alone with pain and suffering to the extent that it makes us depressed. Depression is the most significant killer, causes all sorts of cancer and illness. I am on a mission to teach people that alone does not equal loneliness; you can find peace, content, and happiness within you.
If we work on this, we can end loneliness/depression.
We put all our happiness in other people’s hands. We spend a lot of time making sure that we get approvable from others. We spend a lot of time making sure we look perfect from the outside. We change who we are so people like us. We pretend to be someone else, so we get accepted in social groups.
We forget we need to look good inside, feel good inside. We need to be happy within ourselves, and we need to love who we are.
When we are in our 20’s – we are ten feet tall and bulletproof, with millions of friends and full-on social life. We make bad choices. Some we learn from, some we keep repeating. Eventually we learn responsibilities.
In our 30’s we are so busy running around trying to live up to social expectations, get everything money can buy, big house, big car, big boat and, start a family, career etc
In our 40’s we start to reflect. We start to notice an emptiness within. All we do is run around after kids and work. Pay bills and take care of responsibilities. We don’t know who we are anymore.
In our 50’s we find the big house is empty, kids all grown up and gone, had enough of working the same old job, and empty space is getting bigger.
You finally notice you have spent your whole life working and raising a family. Now they are all grown up, time to let them go. Now is when the loneliness starts slowly creeping up. You did not make time for friends because you were always busy with your family or you have friends, but they are busy doing their things. You have a partner, but without kids, you don’t have anything to talk about. Some of you might not even have partners, you are divorced or widowed. What happens now, you feel alone, and you don’t like this feeling.
Research show, one in five people suffer from loneliness and depression connected to loneliness.
Many turn to prescribed drugs to deal with the pain associated with this state of mental health.
There is a similar answer and a healthier option. LEARN TO LOVE YOUR OWN COMPANY
Step 1 – Go on a date with Me, Myself, and I (other words alone)
Start with a trip to a coffee shop in your town. Going out for coffee alone is scary. You have never done this before so ofcause it will be scary at the beginning. You feel people are judging you or laughing at you. Take deep breaths and Trust the process. I guarantee you it works. I do it all the time, at the beginning I was scared too but now I love it because I have shifted my belief of being alone equals loneliness to being alone equals peace, contentment, and happiness.
If you believe that being alone causes you pain and suffering then traveling alone will be scary, remember alone doesn’t have to mean lonely.
The good news is we are in charge of our conditions, our beliefs and let me tell you this, once you make that shift you will never be happier. This does not mean you do not need friends or ditch your family.
I encourage you to be your own best friend.
I have heaps of friends and a huge family….. but my happiness does not depend on if they have time for me ….. because I love my own company.
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